Mainly we would talk about our illnesses, we had a lot in common in that area, unfortunately I guess. Anorexia, OCD, HA... our experiences were so similar it was uncanny. For a long time she was the only person I could share my thoughts with, and I still haven't told 'real life people' some of the things I told her. Probably because I don't find a need to, I am mostly ok with handling my crazy now. I feel it's acceptable to refer to myself as crazy, yet if someone else were to call me that in reference to my illnesses I would be incredibly pissed off. Funny that.
I haven't spoken to her in almost a year now, and the other day I suddenly found myself wondering how she was. I popped onto the site where I 'met' her and she has been fairly inactive, and hasn't posted for months. I was saddened in a way to find she had been admitted to a psych unit for a little while, but also I felt relieved for her that she might finally be getting the help she needed.
I almost sent her a message, asking how she is. I really hope she is doing well. The only thing stopping me is that I want to forget about my problems I had back then, I don't want to talk about them and get sucked into the cycle again. I don't mind talking about them with an air of ambiguity, but if I delve into it in detail and start reminiscing as it were about those times, I might fall into the mental trap of my own mind, and I wont allow myself that to happen.
I don't know why I had the urge to write all of this, probably because I haven't written in ages. I just don't seem to have anything to say lately.
