A day of mindless self-indulgence, and oops.

Yesterday I started the day in a fantastic mood. For hours me and my favourite and only sister sat and fucked about. She'd stayed the night, as she often does when she needs a break from being a wife and mother. We set aside at least one day a month where we have "nim and psycho night" - it is a night purely for us to get together and do everything we love doing together, its like recreating the nights we had when we still lived with our parents. We watch stupid films, sing along to hilarious songs, eat vast quantities of takeaway, chocolate and kiddies sweets. Most of the time these nights are specifically sober, she isn't a big drinker, and hasn't been for years, around the time that she met her husband and had her daughter. I'm beginning to think these things might very well be related.

After our night of utter brilliance that was (like every other time we get together) so fucking hilarious I can't possibly convey it in words (It wouldn't make sense anyway) I was unspeakably happy.

Waking up on Saturday, I jumped out of bed and was bouncing around like Tigger, the sun was shining and I was in an amazingly good mood. We got ready, I had a couple of cider's in the process, all in all it took us 2 hours to get out of the house to embark on our mission for bacon. We'd been singing like Russian gangsters, dancing like happy starfish and generally other mad shit. As we headed downstairs to where Dave and his friends were rousing from their alcohol induced stupour we noticed, first of all, that one of them had buggered off in the night. Dave was awake, his other drunken mate was still somewhat foetal. This is where things went downhill. Somehow in a matter of minutes, Dave managed to wind me right up and the less said about this the better.

I slammed my way out of the house, and by the time I was at the end of the street me and the sis were laughing again. I was still in a good mood, but with an undertone of self indulgent anger. When I'm angry it turns out I am very self absorbed. We walked the few miles into town, pondering and bitching about men in general and eating burgers in the sun. My anger was gone by the time we got there, but the general mood of conversation had been set. The thing about me and my sister is that predominantly we talk hilarious bollocks to eachother and 90% of our conversations are snorting with laughter. The rest of the time, we do like a good bitch. Having a bitching session is good for the soul. Or the chakra. Or something. When I'm annoyed about something, bitching with her is the one thing garaunteed to make me feel better, it's like we can be in a bubble where we throw everything out and get it out of our systems, laugh about it, and then let it go. But until we get to the point of letting it go, I don't like anything to burst that bubble. Her husband rang asking if she was coming home, she blew him off, opting to stay in our little bubble for a bit longer.

She decided we should pop in and see if our gran was at work, I was resistant at first, saying I didn't want to talk to anyone else, because if they found out I had had an argument with Dave I would be met with a chorus of "knowing looks" and judgemental man-hating comments (we come from a long line of women who hate men, Im not sure why any of them got married, but nevermind) and they think that one argument is "a show of things to come" and other such negative shit that I couldn't be bothered with. You see what I mean about the self-absobption? Anyway, the sis brought up a good point. I didn't have to tell her. Brilliant idea. So we popped our head into the dingy cave of gambling. Looked beyond the flashy lights from the machines, to the back office, and saw she wasnt at work anyway. Fair enough, we would go in a couple of shops and then head to our other grandparent's house, making plenty of twisted jokes surely only we would laugh at along the way.

It wasn't until today when I seen the gran we intended on visiting at work that I remembered that self indulgent bubble, rumbling along bitching and laughing in the sun. It seems in the midst of it all, amongst the flashy lights and mind battering music we encountered for the brief 5 seconds to ascertain that she wasn't at work, we had managed to totally overlook my aunty, who also works there. Having a heart attack.

Oops doesn't quite seem to cover it.